Fry, we have a crate to deliver. Now what? We’re also Santa Claus! I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day.

If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right. It’s toe-tappingly tragic! Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you!

Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! [introducing himself] I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first. For the last time, I don’t like lilacs!  Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

Kif might! There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.

No, she’ll probably make me do it. A sexy mistake. I didn’t ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! I had more, but you go ahead.  It’s a T. It goes “tuh”.

Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry’s worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them. What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first. I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later.

And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! You wouldn’t. Ask anyway!  That’s not soon enough!

Bender, you risked your life to save me! Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase. No argument here.

What are their names? Yeah, lots of people did. And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

You lived before you met me?! Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a man wearing a hat. You, minion. Lift my arm. [a stagehand lifts his arm] AFTER HIM! Ask her how her day was.

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